5 posts tagged “moving”
so i officially gave my four weeks notice to my boss on monday! i had prepared this whole elaborate lie and was going to tell him that will already got a job offer in california but i decided to just be totally honest with him (well, not TOTALLY honest - i didn't tell him how this job has been slowly making me go crazy these past three years!). i just let him know that we have been thinking about moving out to california for awhile now and we figured that this is the time to do it in our lives. he said he was sorry to see me go and that he doesn't blame me because if he didn't have any kids, he would probably move out there too! i am soooo glad that it went over well and now i don't have to watch what i say around him because he knows the truth. honesty really IS the best policy! that has been my #1 stress point over moving and i am just so RELIEVED that i got it over and done with. such a big weight has been lifted off of me! oh yes, and will gave his notice on Tuesday and it went over well there too. there may still be a chance that he can work part time for them at home so we are crossing our fingers that it will happen!
our departure date for california is september 7th! we are going to have most of our stuff shipped over using Pods and pack up the remaining stuff in will's subaru and head off towards the west! we're stopping in washington d.c. for a couple days to visit will's mom then we are going to west virginia to visit will's dad for a couple days. and then we continue our journey west from there! we have been trying to plan some cool things to look at on the way there. pretty much the only major things we have planned are visiting yellowstone and the crazy horse memorial. i keep wanting to take detours and go on all these others trips but then i have a panic attack about money and i really feel like we should just get to california as soon as possible so we can start our job search!
will took his car in this week to get his A/C fixed but it turns out he needs some other work done and it's going to cost us around $1000! and then the Pods is going to be around $1500 and then there's the money for our trip and then the money that will go to first month's rent and our deposit for our apartment...basically all our savings are rapidly deteriorating and i am already stressed out about it! i *know* if we really get in a pickle we can ask our parents to loan us some money until we are on our feet again but it still worries me. we have a little under $20,000 saved but it just doesn't seem like it will be enough (esp. cause i think will is buying me a really HUGE present fairly soon - which i want so so so badly but also feel guilty that he is dipping into the savings for it). the only other major thing i have planned before we leave is taking a quick trip up to maine to visit my cousin but i am REALLY going to try not to spend so much money while we are there!
i need to stop worrying so much about money and just go with the flow and really enjoy our adventure. i don't know whether i will ever have an opportunity like this again to be so carefree and cavalier so i am going to try to soak it in as much as i can. it may sound weird but what i am really looking forward to is just SLEEPING! i feel like i haven't had enough rest since i started this job - i have to be at work at 7AM M-F and i try to catch up on sleep over the weekend but it never happens. i plan on getting so much sleep that i will be sick of it by the time we get to california and then i will be motivated to start a new job!
other then that, i am still just trying to come to terms with leaving my family and friends. my two BFFs are throwing me a going away party next weekend and then we are having another going away party at Cleo (will's fraternity) to say goodbye to all our friends there. its really happening but i don't want to say goodbye yet! its true what they say that you really don't know what you have until it is gone! i used to constantly talk about how boring and lame connecticut is. but now that it is slipping through my fingers, i am really starting to appreciate all the wonderful things here...especially the people that i am leaving behind. i am blessed with SOOO many amazing friends and i am so lucky to have them in my lives. i have been trying to see people as much as i can before i leave and i never really realized just how many friends i have! i can still stay in touch with people over twitter and facebook but its definitley not the same. as much as i shit on this state, it really WAS a great place to grow up in. we have access to so much nature and beautiful sights but you can also go to NYC or Boston rather easily. i am still ready to say goodbye to CT though and i will never say never, but i do hope that this is the last time i live in this state. when all of my west coast adventures are done, i still dream about coming back to maine and settling there. but i guess we will see - only time will tell!
the worst part about leaving is saying goodbye to my parents and my sister brianne. i really have NEVER been away from my parents in all my 26 years. i lived at college for one semester my freshman year but i went home practically every weekend. and i lived with will in our apartment for two years...but my parents lived eight minutes away from us and i went home at least 1-3 times a week to spend time with my parents. i know that i need to be out on my own and be more responsible for myself but i just get so sad thinking about leaving them! i'm such a mess right now - i am literally on the verge of tears every time i even THINK about it. i guess because i know it will never be the same after i make this move...they say you can never come home again and i hope & pray that is not the case!
really this move has made me so thankful and i have realized just how lucky i am. a LOT of my friends don't have relationships like this with their own parents and it makes me so sad for them. i wish that everyone had what i have with my parents - i am both daddy's little girl and a momma's girl. my parents are so awesome and caring and smart and generous and even though they drive me crazy every now and then, i feel so blessed to have spent this much time with them. i guess i should just be thankful for what i have and not focus on the negative. :-(
ok this post is entirely too long, there's my life update...for now!
the good news: i just bought two tickets to see britney in boston on march 16th!!!!! they are not AMAZING seats but they are not bad either. i am in the lower level seating near center stage. pre-sales went on sale this morning at 8AM! i can't believe i even got tickets because i checked my email at 8:16AM and its fucked up cause they sent the email out AFTER 8AM. seriously, why didn't they announce the pre-sale tickets earlier so that people had fair warning about getting tix??? i had to dip into my savings to even be able to afford them. i looked for tickets at mohegan sun but they were all on the upper level. there's no way i am paying over $150 each for upper level seating. so i looked at the boston page and they def had better seats available so i snagged some up.
i am so very excited for this concert...but it is also bittersweet. i haven't really been talking about my personal life on the blog lately so i guess now is a good time to talk about what is going on with me. most of you know that my boyfriend and i decided that we wanted to move to oakland, california. we made that decision at the end of july...which is also about the same time that all this "recession" stuff started happening. we were shooting to move out there in january but i just don't see it happening right now.
i am just soooo scared to give up my job because i am really afraid that i won't be able to get a new job in california. i read today that california has a 8.2% unemployment rate now, the highest they've had in the past 14 years. both my boyfriend and i don't have THAT much work experience that would guarantee us a job out there. i have secretary work under my belt so i could prob always do that somewhere...but i'm just really afraid to take that chance right now. it sucks because in my gut, i'm pretty sure that i could get a job. but my brain keeps telling me to be patient and wait it out.
i'm just really disappointed in myself and disappointed with the whole situation. everyone keeps talking about the recession and how we are in the worst depression since the 30s...but yet no one can give me a straight answer on what i should do. my parents think i should wait until june to move out there...i have other people telling me that i should wait too. but then my two sisters tell me that i shouldn't worry so much and to just DO IT. it's really frustrating because i have all these different people chirping in my ear about what i should do and what i shouldn't do. it's hard to know what is the right decision to make.
i wanted to move out there by february because my sister was gonna give up her apartment and started looking for a house for us all to rent together. but i guess since i just bought these britney tickets that i am going to have to wait until march to move out there now. i think postponing our dream for two months isn't so bad. i just hope that we don't have to postpone it anymore. :-(
i have such conflicting feelings! my heart hurts to leave my sister in california alone but then my heart also hurts whenever i think about moving away from my mom and dad. i wish i didn't have to make this decision at all. i want to move to california for so many reasons but there are so many obstacles in the way...and most of those obstacles revolve around the turmoil that i am feeling inside. i really didn't want to be in connecticut for another cold winter...but mostly, i am just really sick of my job and i need a fresh start. i just feel like such a failure...like i set this goal for myself and then i didn't reach it. and i feel like i am really letting my sister sara down. but on the flip side, my mom is really sick with a skin condition and i know that she could use my help right now. so maybe that is god's way of telling me that i need to stick around a little longer.
two months longer really isn't so bad...i just hope that we won't have to postpone the move again!
so i have spent the past two days cleaning our apartment and getting it ready for our departure. i have worked so hard, scrubbing, dusting, lifting, moving. i literally have blisters on my fingers from vacuuming so much.
so its 9PM last night, we are getting ready to leave the apartment for the last time. will takes out the gigantic bag of trash and i unload some final stuff in my car. we go back to the apartment to pick up one last bag. as we go in, we look on the carpet and there is a BLEACH stain on the rug from where the trash bag was sitting (i had asked will to move it there so that i could mop the kitchen floor one last time).
the next hour and a half was spent trying to get this stupid bleach stain out of the carpet. i am so unbelievably pissed at myself for letting this happen. of course it is my fault because i put the bleach bottle in the trash without making sure the lid was screwed on. it either ate through the bag or there was a tiny enough hole to let it seep through. i spent so many hours making sure the apartment was in PERFECT condition so that we would be guaranteed our deposit back. i freakin used that goddamn bleach to take out these random stains in the walls because i was worried about being charged for re-painting! and now all of our deposit will probably not be returned to us because of one lousy bleach stain on the carpet!
the bleach managed to change the brown-ish carpet to a orange color. its basically this outline of orange on the carpet. i put a little bit of this stain remover thing i have on it so it made it less orange. and then we literally rubbed DIRT on the bleach stain to make it look more like the brown carpet. to the untrained eye, you really can't notice the stain.
BUT, as soon as they steam clean that rug, they will know and POOF! there goes our deposit. i wanted to cry tears of rage last night but i managed to hold it in. granted, $800 will not make or break the bank for us but it would help A LOT in saving for our move to california. this was definitley not how i imagined leaving our beloved apartment. instead of feeling reminiscent about our time spent at our very first apartment, i am filled with anger and sadness over one, stupid little mistake that made.
FUCK YOU MYSTIQUE!!!!!!!
i hinted at it a couple weeks back but i don't think that i have made the official announcement yet that i am INDEED moving to oakland, california!!!!
so here's the story: the lease on our apartment runs out at the end of september. both will and i had to seriously contemplate whether we wanted to live another year in connecticut. will has been itching to move out since we graduated back in 2006. he has only been in CT for college but i have lived here since 5th grade - so going on 15 years here. thats the longest i have ever lived somewhere (my family moved around a lot before 5th grade). i am near the end of my rope with my job here and the thought of going on job interviews to just get another lame job in CT was weighing on my mind.
randomly my sister sara suggested that we move to oakland. this is not the first time she has suggested it - but this time i actually started to seriously think about moving. i talked it over with will and within one day, we were making plans to move across the country!
lets get some things straight - i am *NOT* a city girl. i was born in alaska and grew up in maine - i feel more comfortable spending my days in the woods then bouncing around on the subway. but when will & i visited oakland last year, we fell absolutely in love with the city and atmosphere there. i knew that if i HAD to live in a city then the bay area would be where i would make my home. the weather is beautiful, the people and the laws are relaxed and according to my sister, oakland is really blowing up right now.
our tentative plan is to only live in oakland for a couple years, maybe get our masters there and then move out to the country and build our dream geodesic dome home. that may or may not happen but its the only way i could agree to move to a big city...if i knew that i would somehow make it back to the woods.
i am both excited and really scared to move away. the thing i am most scared about is leaving my parents. i have never lived more then twenty miles away from them. i am really close with both of my parents and even thinking about leaving them for one second brings tears to my eyes (i am tearing up just typing this). i think it would be differently if my parents were younger but my dad is 68 and my mom is 63...my greatest fear is that i will move away and one of them will either become sick or god forbid, pass away. i could never live with myself if that happened. i know that its not a rational way to live - always thinking that something bad will happen to your loved ones but i really can't help being this way. this probably stems from my parents own relationships with my grandparents. both of my parents moved away, like REALLY FAR away from home when they moved to alaska in the 70s (my parents met each other & got married in alaska). my mother constantly talks about how little she saw of her parents during that time and the regret she felt for moving away. i never want to live with the same regret that my mother lives with. when we lived in maine, my mother could not afford to go to both of my grandparents' funerals which took place in seattle. this is another regret that she carries with her and i guess she has passed that burden on to me.
even though my dad is REALLY supportive of us moving, my mom is not 100% on board. she has not started with the guilt trips yet but i know they will be coming. even without her guilt trips, i already have enough guilt of my own. oh yes, did i mention that me & will are moving out of our apartment and in with my parents until we move in january 2009? we want to save up some money before we move so my parents are graciously letting us live with them for a couple months. i'm hoping that this temporary situation will finally give me the strength to pick up and leave. i love my parents - but living with them is another matter altogether. i know my mom is gonna drive me up the wall so hopefully that will make it easier to leave here come january.
so yeah, that is what i am dealing with this days - guilt trips, packing boxes and figuring out what the eff i'm gonna do when i actually get to cali.
there is an 80% chance that me & the boyfriend will be moving to oakland, cali in less then six months...
