20 posts tagged “dad”
my boyfriend and i are embarking on our journey westward tomorrow! we are moving to oakland, california and we should be there by the end of the month. i have just spent the last four days saying goodbye to practically every person that is dear to me. it has been very sad and i am emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed. i knew it was going to be hard to leave but i didn't know it would be this hard.
i never thought i would miss this place so much. it's really not about the place you are - it's about the people that are with you. i'm going to miss so many people and i appreciate everyone so much for being in my life. i feel so blessed to count so many amazing people that are close to me. i love you all so much, i can't even type because i can't see through my tears.
i never thought this day would come ;-( i am excited for my journey but pieces of my heart are being left behind.
i won't really have regular access to a computer while i am on the road but i'll try to update when i can! until next time loveys!!!
so i officially gave my four weeks notice to my boss on monday! i had prepared this whole elaborate lie and was going to tell him that will already got a job offer in california but i decided to just be totally honest with him (well, not TOTALLY honest - i didn't tell him how this job has been slowly making me go crazy these past three years!). i just let him know that we have been thinking about moving out to california for awhile now and we figured that this is the time to do it in our lives. he said he was sorry to see me go and that he doesn't blame me because if he didn't have any kids, he would probably move out there too! i am soooo glad that it went over well and now i don't have to watch what i say around him because he knows the truth. honesty really IS the best policy! that has been my #1 stress point over moving and i am just so RELIEVED that i got it over and done with. such a big weight has been lifted off of me! oh yes, and will gave his notice on Tuesday and it went over well there too. there may still be a chance that he can work part time for them at home so we are crossing our fingers that it will happen!
our departure date for california is september 7th! we are going to have most of our stuff shipped over using Pods and pack up the remaining stuff in will's subaru and head off towards the west! we're stopping in washington d.c. for a couple days to visit will's mom then we are going to west virginia to visit will's dad for a couple days. and then we continue our journey west from there! we have been trying to plan some cool things to look at on the way there. pretty much the only major things we have planned are visiting yellowstone and the crazy horse memorial. i keep wanting to take detours and go on all these others trips but then i have a panic attack about money and i really feel like we should just get to california as soon as possible so we can start our job search!
will took his car in this week to get his A/C fixed but it turns out he needs some other work done and it's going to cost us around $1000! and then the Pods is going to be around $1500 and then there's the money for our trip and then the money that will go to first month's rent and our deposit for our apartment...basically all our savings are rapidly deteriorating and i am already stressed out about it! i *know* if we really get in a pickle we can ask our parents to loan us some money until we are on our feet again but it still worries me. we have a little under $20,000 saved but it just doesn't seem like it will be enough (esp. cause i think will is buying me a really HUGE present fairly soon - which i want so so so badly but also feel guilty that he is dipping into the savings for it). the only other major thing i have planned before we leave is taking a quick trip up to maine to visit my cousin but i am REALLY going to try not to spend so much money while we are there!
i need to stop worrying so much about money and just go with the flow and really enjoy our adventure. i don't know whether i will ever have an opportunity like this again to be so carefree and cavalier so i am going to try to soak it in as much as i can. it may sound weird but what i am really looking forward to is just SLEEPING! i feel like i haven't had enough rest since i started this job - i have to be at work at 7AM M-F and i try to catch up on sleep over the weekend but it never happens. i plan on getting so much sleep that i will be sick of it by the time we get to california and then i will be motivated to start a new job!
other then that, i am still just trying to come to terms with leaving my family and friends. my two BFFs are throwing me a going away party next weekend and then we are having another going away party at Cleo (will's fraternity) to say goodbye to all our friends there. its really happening but i don't want to say goodbye yet! its true what they say that you really don't know what you have until it is gone! i used to constantly talk about how boring and lame connecticut is. but now that it is slipping through my fingers, i am really starting to appreciate all the wonderful things here...especially the people that i am leaving behind. i am blessed with SOOO many amazing friends and i am so lucky to have them in my lives. i have been trying to see people as much as i can before i leave and i never really realized just how many friends i have! i can still stay in touch with people over twitter and facebook but its definitley not the same. as much as i shit on this state, it really WAS a great place to grow up in. we have access to so much nature and beautiful sights but you can also go to NYC or Boston rather easily. i am still ready to say goodbye to CT though and i will never say never, but i do hope that this is the last time i live in this state. when all of my west coast adventures are done, i still dream about coming back to maine and settling there. but i guess we will see - only time will tell!
the worst part about leaving is saying goodbye to my parents and my sister brianne. i really have NEVER been away from my parents in all my 26 years. i lived at college for one semester my freshman year but i went home practically every weekend. and i lived with will in our apartment for two years...but my parents lived eight minutes away from us and i went home at least 1-3 times a week to spend time with my parents. i know that i need to be out on my own and be more responsible for myself but i just get so sad thinking about leaving them! i'm such a mess right now - i am literally on the verge of tears every time i even THINK about it. i guess because i know it will never be the same after i make this move...they say you can never come home again and i hope & pray that is not the case!
really this move has made me so thankful and i have realized just how lucky i am. a LOT of my friends don't have relationships like this with their own parents and it makes me so sad for them. i wish that everyone had what i have with my parents - i am both daddy's little girl and a momma's girl. my parents are so awesome and caring and smart and generous and even though they drive me crazy every now and then, i feel so blessed to have spent this much time with them. i guess i should just be thankful for what i have and not focus on the negative. :-(
ok this post is entirely too long, there's my life update...for now!
my sister brianne got married to her girlfriend yami back on june 27th. it was simultaneously the most stressful and also the most joyful day i have EVER had! there was a lot of rushing around and making sure everything was ready for the wedding. i spent three days before the wedding baking and decorating cakes (along with taking a cake decorating class in march & april and preparing frosting flowers weeks ahead). i was so freaked out that i was going to ruin their wedding cake!! luckily everyone pitched it and i am sooo grateful to everyone that helped out! i thought my mom and me were going to have to singlehandedly put on this wedding and i am so relieved and also surprised at just how many people it took to put on this wedding!
it was supposed to thunderstorm that whole day so we were nervous about where we would hold the wedding. after setting up all the chairs, my cousin keith had the final word and said FUCK IT - we're having it outside! i kept joking that if God made it rain then it means He hates gay marriage. we could hear the thunder in the distance as they were married but it NEVER rained that entire day and night! so THERE - that means that God DOES love gay marriage!
their ceremony was so touching and so personal and i felt so honored to stand beside my sister and yami as they made their union together. it was the most beautiful wedding and it was THE best night of my life!
(thats will, scottie, brian - married to my cousin amy, jimmy & keith)
here's a clip from the wedding - everyone POURED onto the dance floor once the band started singing i kissed a girl!
...stay tuned for more pictures from the after party!!!
my dad is the best dad in the whole wide universe! he is the smartest person i know and also the most generous. i am really very lucky to have him in my life and i cherish his wisdom and love. i love you dad!!!!
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here are some lolcats that describe my situation better...
i hinted at it a couple weeks back but i don't think that i have made the official announcement yet that i am INDEED moving to oakland, california!!!!
so here's the story: the lease on our apartment runs out at the end of september. both will and i had to seriously contemplate whether we wanted to live another year in connecticut. will has been itching to move out since we graduated back in 2006. he has only been in CT for college but i have lived here since 5th grade - so going on 15 years here. thats the longest i have ever lived somewhere (my family moved around a lot before 5th grade). i am near the end of my rope with my job here and the thought of going on job interviews to just get another lame job in CT was weighing on my mind.
randomly my sister sara suggested that we move to oakland. this is not the first time she has suggested it - but this time i actually started to seriously think about moving. i talked it over with will and within one day, we were making plans to move across the country!
lets get some things straight - i am *NOT* a city girl. i was born in alaska and grew up in maine - i feel more comfortable spending my days in the woods then bouncing around on the subway. but when will & i visited oakland last year, we fell absolutely in love with the city and atmosphere there. i knew that if i HAD to live in a city then the bay area would be where i would make my home. the weather is beautiful, the people and the laws are relaxed and according to my sister, oakland is really blowing up right now.
our tentative plan is to only live in oakland for a couple years, maybe get our masters there and then move out to the country and build our dream geodesic dome home. that may or may not happen but its the only way i could agree to move to a big city...if i knew that i would somehow make it back to the woods.
i am both excited and really scared to move away. the thing i am most scared about is leaving my parents. i have never lived more then twenty miles away from them. i am really close with both of my parents and even thinking about leaving them for one second brings tears to my eyes (i am tearing up just typing this). i think it would be differently if my parents were younger but my dad is 68 and my mom is 63...my greatest fear is that i will move away and one of them will either become sick or god forbid, pass away. i could never live with myself if that happened. i know that its not a rational way to live - always thinking that something bad will happen to your loved ones but i really can't help being this way. this probably stems from my parents own relationships with my grandparents. both of my parents moved away, like REALLY FAR away from home when they moved to alaska in the 70s (my parents met each other & got married in alaska). my mother constantly talks about how little she saw of her parents during that time and the regret she felt for moving away. i never want to live with the same regret that my mother lives with. when we lived in maine, my mother could not afford to go to both of my grandparents' funerals which took place in seattle. this is another regret that she carries with her and i guess she has passed that burden on to me.
even though my dad is REALLY supportive of us moving, my mom is not 100% on board. she has not started with the guilt trips yet but i know they will be coming. even without her guilt trips, i already have enough guilt of my own. oh yes, did i mention that me & will are moving out of our apartment and in with my parents until we move in january 2009? we want to save up some money before we move so my parents are graciously letting us live with them for a couple months. i'm hoping that this temporary situation will finally give me the strength to pick up and leave. i love my parents - but living with them is another matter altogether. i know my mom is gonna drive me up the wall so hopefully that will make it easier to leave here come january.
so yeah, that is what i am dealing with this days - guilt trips, packing boxes and figuring out what the eff i'm gonna do when i actually get to cali.
i don't usually write about really personal stuff here unless i need to let off some steam. and today i do!
so this is whats going on: my dad told my mom sunday NIGHT that he was leaving the next morning to bike to maine. he gave her absolutely no warning that he was doing this. not only did he not tell her he was leaving, he did not invite her to come along with him. he is going to be gone for more then a week! i guess he is going to his 50th high school reunion...my mom asked if she could go with him and he flat out told her NO.
these are the problems with him doing this:
- he is SIXTY-EIGHT years old! the last time he tried to bike to maine (about 3-4 years ago), he ended up getting heat stroke, passed out and fell off his bike. he got back on his bike, only to pass out AGAIN a couple minutes later. by the grace of god, a truck driver pulled over and took my dad to a nearby motel. my dad came home looking like complete shit - black eye and scrapes and bruises all over his body.
- on top of all that, he had complications with his prostate for riding too long. now, he takes medicine for his enlarged prostrate but my mom says that he is not supposed to over-exert himself while taking the medicine or he will pass out again. so he either takes the medicine and passes out or he doesn't take it - and will have to probably go to the hospital when he gets home to have another catheter shoved up his penis (TMI, sorry!)
- literally, the FIRST FUCKING DAY of his bike ride, he left his cell phone under a tree somewhere! so if something really bad happens to him, he has no way to call 911 or the police or even call home.
- my mom asked him why he didn't ask my uncle or someone else to bike with him up there and he replied that he doesn't want to bike with anyone else. my dad is the definition of a "loner". he hates making plans and relying on other people. so now if something happens to him, he not only doesn't have his cell phone, but he doesn't have a buddy for safety either!
- he is a fucking asshole for not at least informing my mom what he was doing. my mom has been alone all week, sick with worry. and on top of it, she has to ponder in her head why he didnt want to invite her. i'm about 99.9% sure that my dad is NOT cheating on my mom but i guess you never know. it mostly just bothers me because its a respect issue. if you are married, you are in a partnership. you can't just up and leave when you want to. you especially can't up and leave and BIKE TO MAINE WHEN YOU ARE PUSHING SEVENTY!
- my mom doesn't really care that much about being lonely this week, she is mostly concerned with his safety but i know he has still hurt her. he didn't even consider her at all when he hatched up this plan. oh yeah, he also told my oldest sister that he was going on this trip but didn't bother to tell my mom! i told my mom that will would NEVER pull that shit with me cause he know i would have a hissy fit. i told my mom that should get in his face when he gets home and force him to talk to her (he does *not* talk about his feelings ever). at the very least, i told her she should go out on a shopping spree! i kept trying to give my mom advice about how they need to communicate more but she wasn't hearing it. she kept saying, "well, we've lived this way for 30 years so nothings gonna change now." i know they aren't going to get a divorce or anything but it just makes me sad to see my dad treat my mom this way. she definitley doesn't deserve it.
luckily my mom just heard from my dad about an hour ago yesterday and he thankfully made it to his hotel where the reunion is being held. i'm so glad to hear that he is okay! i keep imagining him lying in a ditch dead somewhere...and we can't even file a missing persons report until tuesday when he is supposed to be back. if something really bad should happen to him, he really won't get help for several days. its just so fucking dumb and dangerous. i told my mom that maybe he has a death wish but she says its the opposite and that he thinks he is twenty years old again and can do whatever he wants.
update: i guess when my mom fought with my dad when she spoke to him yesterday. he ended the conversation by saying, "well, i know you don't care but tell alison i'm okay!" (which is a stupid statement b/c my mom DOES care!). i appreciate that my dad had enough common sense to realize that i would be freaking out as well. it didn't help me from having a dream last night about my dad dying though. my biggest fear in life is my family members dying and i have dreams about them dying. i have had such bad nightmares before that i wake up screaming and crying hysterically and scare the shit out of will in the process. luckily last night's dream wasn't that bad but i am still worried about my dad. he is safe for a couple days but then he will be riding home and the anxiety will start all over again.
sorry, this is a long rant but i needed to let some stuff off my chest. if you've made it this far, thanks for reading.
i just realized i never posted pics from my memorial day trip out to west virginia. will's dad has a cabin (that he built himself!) out there and he was gracious enough to splurge on two plane tickets for both will and me. i have only been there once before but it was a couple of winters ago that i was there. west virginia is another sight to behold in the spring!
the rest of our trip was spent in the cabin - eating good food, lounging in a hammock on the porch while will and his dad chopped wood, and spending lots of quality time with his dad's animals.
you know i can't pick just one...Show us the person you want to be like in life.Submitted by Beshr.
