the good and the bad

the good news: i just bought two tickets to see britney in boston on march 16th!!!!! they are not AMAZING seats but they are not bad either. i am in the lower level seating near center stage. pre-sales went on sale this morning at 8AM! i can't believe i even got tickets because i checked my email at 8:16AM and its fucked up cause they sent the email out AFTER 8AM. seriously, why didn't they announce the pre-sale tickets earlier so that people had fair warning about getting tix??? i had to dip into my savings to even be able to afford them. i looked for tickets at mohegan sun but they were all on the upper level. there's no way i am paying over $150 each for upper level seating. so i looked at the boston page and they def had better seats available so i snagged some up.

i am so very excited for this concert...but it is also bittersweet. i haven't really been talking about my personal life on the blog lately so i guess now is a good time to talk about what is going on with me. most of you know that my boyfriend and i decided that we wanted to move to oakland, california. we made that decision at the end of july...which is also about the same time that all this "recession" stuff started happening. we were shooting to move out there in january but i just don't see it happening right now.

i am just soooo scared to give up my job because i am really afraid that i won't be able to get a new job in california. i read today that california has a 8.2% unemployment rate now, the highest they've had in the past 14 years. both my boyfriend and i don't have THAT much work experience that would guarantee us a job out there. i have secretary work under my belt so i could prob always do that somewhere...but i'm just really afraid to take that chance right now. it sucks because in my gut, i'm pretty sure that i could get a job. but my brain keeps telling me to be patient and wait it out.

i'm just really disappointed in myself and disappointed with the whole situation. everyone keeps talking about the recession and how we are in the worst depression since the 30s...but yet no one can give me a straight answer on what i should do. my parents think i should wait until june to move out there...i have other people telling me that i should wait too. but then my two sisters tell me that i shouldn't worry so much and to just DO IT. it's really frustrating because i have all these different people chirping in my ear about what i should do and what i shouldn't do. it's hard to know what is the right decision to make.

i wanted to move out there by february because my sister was gonna give up her apartment and started looking for a house for us all to rent together. but i guess since i just bought these britney tickets that i am going to have to wait until march to move out there now. i think postponing our dream for two months isn't so bad. i just hope that we don't have to postpone it anymore. :-(

i have such conflicting feelings! my heart hurts to leave my sister in california alone but then my heart also hurts whenever i think about moving away from my mom and dad. i wish i didn't have to make this decision at all. i want to move to california for so many reasons but there are so many obstacles in the way...and most of those obstacles revolve around the turmoil that i am feeling inside. i really didn't want to be in connecticut for another cold winter...but mostly, i am just really sick of my job and i need a fresh start. i just feel like such a failure...like i set this goal for myself and then i didn't reach it. and i feel like i am really letting my sister sara down. but on the flip side, my mom is really sick with a skin condition and i know that she could use my help right now. so maybe that is god's way of telling me that i need to stick around a little longer.

two months longer really isn't so bad...i just hope that we won't have to postpone the move again!