i hate myself right now

so i have spent the past two days cleaning our apartment and getting it ready for our departure. i have worked so hard, scrubbing, dusting, lifting, moving. i literally have blisters on my fingers from vacuuming so much.

so its 9PM last night, we are getting ready to leave the apartment for the last time. will takes out the gigantic bag of trash and i unload some final stuff in my car. we go back to the apartment to pick up one last bag. as we go in, we look on the carpet and there is a BLEACH stain on the rug from where the trash bag was sitting (i had asked will to move it there so that i could mop the kitchen floor one last time).

the next hour and a half was spent trying to get this stupid bleach stain out of the carpet. i am so unbelievably pissed at myself for letting this happen. of course it is my fault because i put the bleach bottle in the trash without making sure the lid was screwed on. it either ate through the bag or there was a tiny enough hole to let it seep through. i spent so many hours making sure the apartment was in PERFECT condition so that we would be guaranteed our deposit back. i freakin used that goddamn bleach to take out these random stains in the walls because i was worried about being charged for re-painting! and now all of our deposit will probably not be returned to us because of one lousy bleach stain on the carpet!

the bleach managed to change the brown-ish carpet to a orange color. its basically this outline of orange on the carpet. i put a little bit of this stain remover thing i have on it so it made it less orange. and then we literally rubbed DIRT on the bleach stain to make it look more like the brown carpet. to the untrained eye, you really can't notice the stain.

BUT, as soon as they steam clean that rug, they will know and POOF! there goes our deposit. i wanted to cry tears of rage last night but i managed to hold it in. granted, $800 will not make or break the bank for us but it would help A LOT in saving for our move to california. this was definitley not how i imagined leaving our beloved apartment. instead of feeling reminiscent about our time spent at our very first apartment, i am filled with anger and sadness over one, stupid little mistake that made.

FUCK YOU MYSTIQUE!!!!!!!